The bar scene is a familiar destination for many travellers looking to penetrate new social circles. The bar is many things to many people, but one reason a lot of us go there (or perhaps have gone there in the past) is to meet eligible bachelorettes and bachelors. The combination of relaxed atmosphere and calming alcohol is ideal for breaking some of the tension and allowing you to approach people who you might otherwise be too afraid to (or perhaps too sensible).
Still though, on its own a little Dutch courage isn’t going to find you your spouse – you also need to have some game and technique, which is something that you can develop with practice. Here we will look at some pointers that can help you improve your batting average.
Wear a low-cut top.
One of the very best strategies when trying to meet people in a bar or pub is simply to smile. Many of us are too busy trying to be ‘cool’ to remember to smile, but actually smiling sends powerful chemical signals that help make us seem more attractive to others. At the same time, smiling makes us appear confident – which is instantly sexy. It also makes us appear friendly and outgoing and makes others more likely to approach us.
Play the Numbers
It might sound like a shallow tip, but in a way it’s no more shallow than approaching one person at random. In a bar, until you speak to someone, you have nothing to go on other than their appearance at that point – and so approaching more people can just help you find that one right person faster.
To meet new people at the bar, you’ll need a strategy. One way you can achieve this is simply by trying to catch the eye of as many people as possible to gauge interest. If you use the smiling technique, you can simply setup base at the bar and smile at people as they go past. It sounds very simple, but when you get a smile back and some genuine interest, you can then head over to introduce yourself.
Talk to the Group
Talking to just the one girl you have your eye on is somewhat destined to fail (unless you’re Tom Brady). If you approach her directly you may come across as predatory and interested in ‘only one thing’. Also, it could be difficult to find someone by themselves, so don’t waste your time waiting for her to get separated from the herd; man up and go talk to the group.
When you make the approach, try speaking to the entire group. By doing so you will find that you come across as a friendly guy who wants to talk and you will be more warmly accepted by the group. And by spreading your attention across everyone, you’ll find that you invite a sense of subconscious competition in the group which encourages them to try and ‘one up’ each other to win your interest. This is pretty much how every season of The Bachelor works. You’ll also increase the number of people you meet, which will again increase your chances of meeting the right person with whom you really hit it off. If you can’t think of what to say, just mention that your guacamole ice cream recipe made the homepage of Pinterest and you’ll be good to go.
You also need to ensure that you look like the sort of person that people want to be around and that you’re not just there to take someone home. Throw yourself into the dancing and chat to as many people as you can. By fully immersing yourself in the setting, you send off the message that you belong and that you are not afraid to lead. This effectively puts you in the alpha role, which, by the laws of nature, will help your chances to mate with someone who can produce the strongest offspring (ultimately what this is all about).
John is a blogger and creative writer. He has written many articles about Gift ideas for beer lover and how a drinking habit can really be used creatively.