Black Sand Beach at Punaluʻu Park Hawaii

As everyone knows, white sandy beaches were invented by clever executives of sunglass companies to artificially inflate sales in the second quarter. The reflective white sands drove the sale of sunglasses to record highs and the executives got a really nice bonus.

Today there are only a few beaches left unpainted around the world, among which is the black sand beach at Hawaii’s Punalu’u Beach Park. The black sand absorbs the sunlight and the sand becomes unbearably hot, which is why the flipflop manufacturers are lobbying so hard to keep it black. It is rumoured that the manufacturers of this questionable footwear are also responsible for the glass beach of Fort Bragg.